Congratulations

To our dear Prime Minister Julia Gillard,

On behalf of the Australian people, I would like to take this opportunity to thank you.

As our first female PM you have truly transformed the perception of this great land as one filled with beer swilling, thong wearing, mosquito slapping ockers. You have taken us to an unprecedented level of recognition on the international stage. No longer will Australians remain confused with Austrians, nor will they be mistaken for strange sounding British people.

We are now known as a tough and uncompromising nation. We don't cut corners when it comes to the invasion of our land by undesirable and frankly malodorous "asylum seekers" on leaky boats.

The Labor government has done all it can, even putting some of these refugees up in a motel in Darwin! And those spacious facilities at Villawood are nothing to scoff at, so we can only roll our eyes when these so called asylum seekers start hacking at their wrists, climbing on roof tops and killing themselves.

What were they expecting? Human rights? This is Australia, for God's sake.

Now, from the recesses of that ginger coated head of yours, has emerged what can only be described as an ingenious plan.

Instead of having these foreign people commit suicide in our state of the art facilities, why not just send them packing back to where they belong and avoid the bad press? Who wouldn't like Afghanistan anyway? Sure, there a few hundred rather large craters and countless destroyed buildings from bombs dropped by our steadfast ally, the United States, but other than that, I hear the food is quite good.

And as an Australian citizen who holds complete trust in my democratically elected government, I have no doubts at all that you will honour the commitment which ensures a return agreement will contain assurances that deported asylum seekers not be harmed. Of course it will also include reintegration packages to discourage this cheeky buggers from ever hopping on a boat back to our fair country again.

Some might also say doing deals with a notoriously corrupt government isn't the best political decision, but hey, I'll trust you on this one!

Ms Gillard, I applaud you for setting a fine example to the rest of the world on how to treat those who dare to flee a country which we helped destroy.

I can only hope to be like you when I grow up.

Warmest regards,

Your fellow Australian.