Ky Quang

For the past three days I have been at the orphanage in Ho Chi Minh. On Monday I went back to Ky Quang Pagoda orphanage which is where the children are mostly physically or intellectually disabled. We arrive at about half past nine in the morning, and we help feed the kids. It is sometimes a very slow process. You move the child into the chair, secure the steel table and then attempt to put the plastic sheet around the child's neck so food doesn't get all over them. Some of them are alright with this, others are not, and they will refuse to let you put it on and chuck a tantrum. Once you have managed to do this, you start with the food. About half of them can actually eat by themselves but the ones with the very severe disabilities need to be spoon fed. It can take up to forty minutes or an hour to get them to eat a bowl of porridge. One of the little girls hates eating because at birth she was malnourished, therefore it is painful for her to digest food now because her body isn't used to it. You feel horrible trying to force it down their throats but there really is no other option. Sometimes you have to place the bowl at a distance from them or they will throw it. Another one of the girls screams and cries, and the only way to get her to eat is to get the spoon and scrape the food off against her teeth.

Once the feeding is done, they either walk or are lifted back to their cots. The nurses change them and then they have a sleep.

When I first started doing this a couple of weeks ago I would leave the orphanage feeling really depressed and depleted. Because you can't do much to help them except be there. They're probably never going to leave that place. The nurses do their best but look exhausted and unhappy a lot of the time, because it is a largely thankless and difficult job, which probably doesn't pay very well.

After that you go visit the other kids who are kept in other rooms. There are a lot of little boys under three. One of them starts screaming whenever he sees me, much to the amusement of the nurses. Some of the girls about 8 - 10 often help the nurses there, picking up the babies and changing them or feeding them.

The orphanage I went to yesterday was for children without disabilities who have been abandoned by their parents. One girl was put on a train to Ho Chi Minh City from Hanoi by her uncle after her parents died. He didn't want her so he sent her down without any money, food or clothes. The police found her walking up and down the platform. The place had a central courtyard surrounded by three stories of dormitories. It sort of looked like a prison. The kids range from babies to 20 years old. You can see there is some kind of social dynamic going on in there among the kids, like a pecking order. The children don't look happy to see you, they don't really care that you're there. They can be quite hostile, I guess that is how they learn to survive. I made the mistake of trying to play with a little boy, who looked no more than 5, and he spat in my face.

I leave Ho Chi Minh tomorrow, and I'm very excited to go.